> > > > *_NEW CHRISTMAS REGULATIONS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS - HEALTH & SAFETY_**_
> > _**
> > *_WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED_*_
> _
> *While shepherds watched their flocks by night*
> > *All seated on the ground,*
> > *The Angel of the Lord came down,*
> > *And Glory shone around.*
> > > > **The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches Health & Safety**
> *Regulations to insist the shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate*
> *seating arrangements being provided.*
> > *Therefore, benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs must be available.*
> *Shepherds have also requested that, due to inclement weather they should*
> *watch their flocks via CCTV cameras behind centrally heated shepherd*
> *observation huts.*
> > *The Angel of the Lord is reminded that before shining his / her Glory all*
> *around, the shepherds must be issued with glasses capable of filtering out*
> *any harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory lighting.*
> > **
> > *_LITTLE DONKEY_*_
> _
> *Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road,*
> > *Got to keep on plodding onwards, with your precious load.*
> > > > **The RSPCA has issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load a**
> *donkey of small stature is permitted to carry. Also in the guidelines are*
> *permitted feeding breaks, and at least one rest break in a four-hour*
> *plodding period.*
> > *Due to the risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are*
> *required to wear facemasks.*
> > *The 'Little Donkey' has expressed his discomfort as being labelled 'Little'*
> *and would prefer to being simply referred to as 'Mr Donkey'.*
> > *Comments upon his height or otherwise are considered to be a breach of his*
> *equine rights.*
> **
> > > *_WE THREE KINGS_*_
> _
> *We three Kings of Orient are,*
> > *Bearing gifts we traverse afar,*
> > *Field and fountain,*
> > *Moor and Mountain,*
> > *Following yonder star.*
> > > > **Whilst the gift of Gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be**
> *redeemed at a later date through such organisations such as 'Cash4Gold'*
> *etc., gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh are not appropriate due to the risk of*
> *oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.*
> > *An acceptable alternative might be a gift voucher.*
> > *It is not recommended that traversing Kings should rely on star navigation,*
> *and would advise the use of AA RouteFinder or Sat Nav.*
> > *Both can provide the quickest route and advise on fuel consumption.*
> > *As in the case of Mr. Donkey, the three camels require regular rest and food*
> *breaks and facemasks for the three Kings are obligatory due to the*
> *likelihood of desert dust disturbed by the camel hooves.*
> > **
> > *_THE ROCKING CAROL_*_
> _
> *Little Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir,*
> > *We will lend a coat of fur,*
> > *We will rock you, rock you, rock you,*
> > *We will rock you, rock you, rock you,*
> > > > **Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants due to the risk of**
> *allergy and for ethical reasons.*
> > *Therefore, false fur, a cellular blanket or, perhaps, micro-fleece material*
> *should be considered alternatives.*
> > *Please note that, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records*
> *(Police) check and have a Blue card will be permitted to rock*
> *Baby Jesus.*
> > *Persons must carry their Blue Card at all times and be prepared to*
> *provide three forms of identification (100 points) before any rocking commences.*
> **
> > > *_JINGLE BELLS_*_
> _
> *Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh,*
> > *Over fields we go - laughing all the way.*
> > > > **A Risk Assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe**
> *for members of the public to ride.*
> > *The Risk Assessment should also consider whether the use of only one horse*
> *is appropriate - particularly if passengers are of larger proportions.*
> > *Permission from landowners must be gained before entering any 'Open Fields'.*
> > > *To avoid offending those not participating in the venture, it is required*
> *that only 'moderate' laughter is used and not at a noise level likely to be*
> *of nuisance to others.*
> **
> > > *_RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER_*_
> _
> *Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,*
> > *And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,*
> > *All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,*
> > *They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.*
> > > > **You are advised that, under the Equal Opportunities Policy, it is**
> *inappropriate for persons to make comment upon the ruddiness of Mr. R.*
> *Reindeer.*
> > *Name-calling contravenes our Anti-Bullying policy, and further to this, the*
> *exclusion of Mr. R. Reindeer from any reindeer games will be considered*
> *discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against anyone found*
> *guilty of this offence.*
> > *A full investigation will be implemented, leading to imposing sanctions such*
> *as a ban from hanging up stockings or enjoying Christmas dinner.*
> > **
> > > > *_AWAY IN A MANGER_*_
> _
> *Away in a manger - no crib for a bed.*
> > > > **_Refer to Social Services immediately!_*
> > ******
> **
>
> > _**
> > *_WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED_*_
> _
> *While shepherds watched their flocks by night*
> > *All seated on the ground,*
> > *The Angel of the Lord came down,*
> > *And Glory shone around.*
> > > > **The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches Health & Safety**
> *Regulations to insist the shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate*
> *seating arrangements being provided.*
> > *Therefore, benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs must be available.*
> *Shepherds have also requested that, due to inclement weather they should*
> *watch their flocks via CCTV cameras behind centrally heated shepherd*
> *observation huts.*
> > *The Angel of the Lord is reminded that before shining his / her Glory all*
> *around, the shepherds must be issued with glasses capable of filtering out*
> *any harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory lighting.*
> > **
> > *_LITTLE DONKEY_*_
> _
> *Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road,*
> > *Got to keep on plodding onwards, with your precious load.*
> > > > **The RSPCA has issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load a**
> *donkey of small stature is permitted to carry. Also in the guidelines are*
> *permitted feeding breaks, and at least one rest break in a four-hour*
> *plodding period.*
> > *Due to the risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are*
> *required to wear facemasks.*
> > *The 'Little Donkey' has expressed his discomfort as being labelled 'Little'*
> *and would prefer to being simply referred to as 'Mr Donkey'.*
> > *Comments upon his height or otherwise are considered to be a breach of his*
> *equine rights.*
> **
> > > *_WE THREE KINGS_*_
> _
> *We three Kings of Orient are,*
> > *Bearing gifts we traverse afar,*
> > *Field and fountain,*
> > *Moor and Mountain,*
> > *Following yonder star.*
> > > > **Whilst the gift of Gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be**
> *redeemed at a later date through such organisations such as 'Cash4Gold'*
> *etc., gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh are not appropriate due to the risk of*
> *oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.*
> > *An acceptable alternative might be a gift voucher.*
> > *It is not recommended that traversing Kings should rely on star navigation,*
> *and would advise the use of AA RouteFinder or Sat Nav.*
> > *Both can provide the quickest route and advise on fuel consumption.*
> > *As in the case of Mr. Donkey, the three camels require regular rest and food*
> *breaks and facemasks for the three Kings are obligatory due to the*
> *likelihood of desert dust disturbed by the camel hooves.*
> > **
> > *_THE ROCKING CAROL_*_
> _
> *Little Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir,*
> > *We will lend a coat of fur,*
> > *We will rock you, rock you, rock you,*
> > *We will rock you, rock you, rock you,*
> > > > **Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants due to the risk of**
> *allergy and for ethical reasons.*
> > *Therefore, false fur, a cellular blanket or, perhaps, micro-fleece material*
> *should be considered alternatives.*
> > *Please note that, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records*
> *(Police) check and have a Blue card will be permitted to rock*
> *Baby Jesus.*
> > *Persons must carry their Blue Card at all times and be prepared to*
> *provide three forms of identification (100 points) before any rocking commences.*
> **
> > > *_JINGLE BELLS_*_
> _
> *Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh,*
> > *Over fields we go - laughing all the way.*
> > > > **A Risk Assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe**
> *for members of the public to ride.*
> > *The Risk Assessment should also consider whether the use of only one horse*
> *is appropriate - particularly if passengers are of larger proportions.*
> > *Permission from landowners must be gained before entering any 'Open Fields'.*
> > > *To avoid offending those not participating in the venture, it is required*
> *that only 'moderate' laughter is used and not at a noise level likely to be*
> *of nuisance to others.*
> **
> > > *_RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER_*_
> _
> *Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,*
> > *And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,*
> > *All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,*
> > *They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.*
> > > > **You are advised that, under the Equal Opportunities Policy, it is**
> *inappropriate for persons to make comment upon the ruddiness of Mr. R.*
> *Reindeer.*
> > *Name-calling contravenes our Anti-Bullying policy, and further to this, the*
> *exclusion of Mr. R. Reindeer from any reindeer games will be considered*
> *discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against anyone found*
> *guilty of this offence.*
> > *A full investigation will be implemented, leading to imposing sanctions such*
> *as a ban from hanging up stockings or enjoying Christmas dinner.*
> > **
> > > > *_AWAY IN A MANGER_*_
> _
> *Away in a manger - no crib for a bed.*
> > > > **_Refer to Social Services immediately!_*
> > ******
> **
>
