Delightful :)
Something to smile about....
|
|
|---|
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Life in Christchurch. Day 9
Busy day circling the city going to a work management meeting across town. I decided to take the western side going over, circling well across the far side of Hagley Park and then south. The traffic was bumper to bumper and the trip was slow, so I headed East to return home. Interesting. It was the same way we crawled home on the day of the quake. Less congested, but still a slow crawl through the potholes and shoveled piles of silt, all in endless dusty air. I can totally understand why the people living there are struggling as they still have limited access to water, power and portaloos and the air is full of toxic dust now too. I didn't take a face mask with me but most people were wearing them. In the North East where we live there is less problem but it is making working and living miserable for many.
The Prime Minister is visiting tomorrow. The time has come to shift some of the focus to these people who need help now to stay in their homes.
Talking of portaloos
The portaloo wars in Christchurch are showing no sign of slowing down, with residents hauling the communal toilets closer to their homes for easy access.
In suburbs including Bexley, Aranui, Avonside, and New Brighton, there are only a few portable toilets, with some serving more than four streets.
There have been claims of lavatory theft and of people hiding them away, refusing to share the precious commodities with others who need them.
"In some cases...someone has taken a particular shine to a portaloo...and they have pulled it up their driveway in order to have frequent and free access to it," Mayor Bob Parker said yesterday.
"I am sure that is great for the person who gets it closest to their back door but to all intents and purposes it disappears off the streets."
Mr Parker suggested people try to sort out the issues themselves.
Anyway, I got sidetracked...
I was nearly home when a sign announced the final bridge to get home over the Avon River was closed. Not unexpected as every bridge seems to be "munted". Mildly frustrated, I meandered off along side roads, trying to work out where to go on the map regularly, and feeling terrible about clogging up the narrow pot holed areas full of tankers and trucks and drain sucker-outers and bulldozers. Very pleased to see all the effort, but was starting to feel frazzled and whimpery at one point..... a stern "grow some" talk to myself worked and I eventually found the reopened bridge at Anzac Drive and headed home.... only to see the original bridge I wanted to cross was open and working. Grrrrr. Stretched nerves are not helping...
The silt confuses many people. Where does it come from? Hw does it squirt up into the roads? WHy are buildings sinking? If you have not seen the short video that explains the meaning of "liquefaction"... watch this.
or watch it in action during an earthquake in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLZFlnND0hA
The sad news that we had come to realise was growing inevitable was announced at 3pm when the search moved from rescue of survivors to recovery of bodies.
The video of that announcement is here:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4726330/Christchurch-earthquake-search-for-survivors-called-off
Such simple words, but the hope will be fading for many of the families still waiting anxiously for news of the loved ones still missing. I am however sad that this is tonight's headline.
Searchers close to collapsed spire
LATEST: 6.26pm: Searchers are close to entering the collapsed spire of ChristChurch Cathedral, where up to 22 people are believed to have been killed.
An urban search and rescue team was preparing to access the inside of the spire, USAR and the Fire Service said in a statement this afternoon.
"This will then allow the systematic and controlled deconstruction of the debris to ascertain the location and recover of any victims in this area."
This is great news on the surface, but it also appears no one has been able to get in for the last 8 days to check that site as there have needed to be major reinforcements made to the building to secure it before entry. I sincerely hope that the USAR teams might have sent their sound equipment, heat detectors or even dogs in to do a check for life last week.
I do know they have been busy working at the Cathedral though - this photo was taken in the square today by a friend (well actually a sister in law if we were married to the brothers we each live with) who lives inside the cordoned area.... the giant frame is supporting the facade of the cathedral.
 |
| Looking down Colombo St from the top end - the tall building is the one that lost its staircase. |
As much of the eastern side of the city copes without power, water and sewage, I am grateful for gas flames, running water, and the itty bitty generator. Along with 27,000 other people we still do not have power, but we are adapting to the new lifestyle. I was offered a shower today and actually said no... i had washed already and couldn't be bothered!
We are also thankful that Jaz was due to return home for good today :)
Finally, Christchurch is trying to retain a sense of humour through all this.
or this, that we can all identfy with!
1. You use the term "liquefaction" and "seismic design" in casual conversation.
2. Digging a hole and pooping in your garden is no longer weird.
3. Your mayor describes the city as munted.
4. Weaving through car size potholes on the street is no longer weird
5. Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
6. A shower is heaven
7. You have a preference of which kind of silt you'd rather shovel, dry or wet
8. You see tanks driving around town
9. You are always noting what you are under
10. Due to frequent aftershocks during the night, you sleep like a baby--every 10 minutes you wake up and sh*t yourself
Life in Christchurch. Day 9
Busy day circling the city going to a work management meeting across town. I decided to take the western side going over, circling well across the far side of Hagley Park and then south. The traffic was bumper to bumper and the trip was slow, so I headed East to return home. Interesting. It was the same way we crawled home on the day of the quake. Less congested, but still a slow crawl through the potholes and shoveled piles of silt, all in endless dusty air. I can totally understand why the people living there are struggling as they still have limited access to water, power and portaloos and the air is full of toxic dust now too. I didn't take a face mask with me but most people were wearing them. In the North East where we live there is less problem but it is making working and living miserable for many.
The Prime Minister is visiting tomorrow. The time has come to shift some of the focus to these people who need help now to stay in their homes.
Talking of portaloos
The portaloo wars in Christchurch are showing no sign of slowing down, with residents hauling the communal toilets closer to their homes for easy access.
In suburbs including Bexley, Aranui, Avonside, and New Brighton, there are only a few portable toilets, with some serving more than four streets.
There have been claims of lavatory theft and of people hiding them away, refusing to share the precious commodities with others who need them.
"In some cases...someone has taken a particular shine to a portaloo...and they have pulled it up their driveway in order to have frequent and free access to it," Mayor Bob Parker said yesterday.
"I am sure that is great for the person who gets it closest to their back door but to all intents and purposes it disappears off the streets."
Mr Parker suggested people try to sort out the issues themselves.
Anyway, I got sidetracked...
I was nearly home when a sign announced the final bridge to get home over the Avon River was closed. Not unexpected as every bridge seems to be "munted". Mildly frustrated, I meandered off along side roads, trying to work out where to go on the map regularly, and feeling terrible about clogging up the narrow pot holed areas full of tankers and trucks and drain sucker-outers and bulldozers. Very pleased to see all the effort, but was starting to feel frazzled and whimpery at one point..... a stern "grow some" talk to myself worked and I eventually found the reopened bridge at Anzac Drive and headed home.... only to see the original bridge I wanted to cross was open and working. Grrrrr. Stretched nerves are not helping...
The silt confuses many people. Where does it come from? Hw does it squirt up into the roads? WHy are buildings sinking? If you have not seen the short video that explains the meaning of "liquefaction"... watch this.
or watch it in action during an earthquake in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLZFlnND0hA
The sad news that we had come to realise was growing inevitable was announced at 3pm when the search moved from rescue of survivors to recovery of bodies.
The video of that announcement is here:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4726330/Christchurch-earthquake-search-for-survivors-called-off
Such simple words, but the hope will be fading for many of the families still waiting anxiously for news of the loved ones still missing. I am however sad that this is tonight's headline.
Searchers close to collapsed spire
LATEST: 6.26pm: Searchers are close to entering the collapsed spire of ChristChurch Cathedral, where up to 22 people are believed to have been killed.
An urban search and rescue team was preparing to access the inside of the spire, USAR and the Fire Service said in a statement this afternoon.
"This will then allow the systematic and controlled deconstruction of the debris to ascertain the location and recover of any victims in this area."
This is great news on the surface, but it also appears no one has been able to get in for the last 8 days to check that site as there have needed to be major reinforcements made to the building to secure it before entry. I sincerely hope that the USAR teams might have sent their sound equipment, heat detectors or even dogs in to do a check for life last week.
I do know they have been busy working at the Cathedral though - this photo was taken in the square today by a friend (well actually a sister in law if we were married to the brothers we each live with) who lives inside the cordoned area.... the giant frame is supporting the facade of the cathedral.
|
| Looking down Colombo St from the top end - the tall building is the one that lost its staircase. |
As much of the eastern side of the city copes without power, water and sewage, I am grateful for gas flames, running water, and the itty bitty generator. Along with 27,000 other people we still do not have power, but we are adapting to the new lifestyle. I was offered a shower today and actually said no... i had washed already and couldn't be bothered!
We are also thankful that Jaz was due to return home for good today :)
Finally, Christchurch is trying to retain a sense of humour through all this.
or this, that we can all identfy with!
1. You use the term "liquefaction" and "seismic design" in casual conversation.
2. Digging a hole and pooping in your garden is no longer weird.
3. Your mayor describes the city as munted.
4. Weaving through car size potholes on the street is no longer weird
5. Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
6. A shower is heaven
7. You have a preference of which kind of silt you'd rather shovel, dry or wet
8. You see tanks driving around town
9. You are always noting what you are under
10. Due to frequent aftershocks during the night, you sleep like a baby--every 10 minutes you wake up and sh*t yourself
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Politically Correct Carols
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from
landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased
risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation
to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the
camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from
landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased
risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation
to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the
camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Politically Correct Carols
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from
landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased
risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation
to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the
camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from
landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased
risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation
to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the
camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Lovemaking Tips for Seniors...
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses.
TO make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
In case you doze off in the middle.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)
The neighbors are deaf too..
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
Lovemaking Tips for Seniors...
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses.
TO make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
In case you doze off in the middle.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)
The neighbors are deaf too..
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Music to brighten your day
Music plays an important part in our lives. One piece that always makes me feel better is by Coldplay - Viva La Vida
also worth reading...
Coldplay - Viva La Vida lyrics | LyricsMode.com
and I have always loved their "Clocks" too
What made me play it a few times today, was when Dooce blogged about it today - http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/21/roman-cavalry-choirs-are-singing and there is a video of her daughter dancing to this song.... with her Dad. I was just reminded of moments like that with my own children, and how many old songs that I hear played today conjure images of them doing things like that...
Hazy with nostalgia, I started to scan all the comments...and found people had linked some sites where there were other variations of it... and some of them are great.
Kids singing it to acoustic guitar - so wonderful to see them really enjoying the words and meaning as well as the tune!!
Another one that I was impressed with was where someone has combined his daughter's favourite piece, Love Story by Taylor Swift, and put it to cello and piano. Slower, but beautiful and haunting, as well as clever.
Love Story Meets Viva la Vida
I like it when people can combine music like that ... or play it differently.
For some years i have followed Norwegian Recycling. I love the way he mixes these tracks...
Finally, thinking of something completely different, have you discovered the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain? I had some misgivings about listening to it when my friend first showed them to me, but they are clever and entertaining - worth checking out.
"The Good the Bad and the Ugly" - watch for the vocals added at the end!
"You don't bring me flowers"... very clever arrangement!!!
They even do Nirvana - Smells like Teen Spirit!
You may have read an earlier post I did this year on this theme... but go and hear the classical yodelling and Wee Andy Lloyd Weber done as a Scottish theme.
http://fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com/2009/06/music-to-make-you-laugh-or-smile.html
Good listening everyone ;)
also worth reading...
Coldplay - Viva La Vida lyrics | LyricsMode.com
and I have always loved their "Clocks" too
What made me play it a few times today, was when Dooce blogged about it today - http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/21/roman-cavalry-choirs-are-singing and there is a video of her daughter dancing to this song.... with her Dad. I was just reminded of moments like that with my own children, and how many old songs that I hear played today conjure images of them doing things like that...
Hazy with nostalgia, I started to scan all the comments...and found people had linked some sites where there were other variations of it... and some of them are great.
Kids singing it to acoustic guitar - so wonderful to see them really enjoying the words and meaning as well as the tune!!
Another one that I was impressed with was where someone has combined his daughter's favourite piece, Love Story by Taylor Swift, and put it to cello and piano. Slower, but beautiful and haunting, as well as clever.
Love Story Meets Viva la Vida
I like it when people can combine music like that ... or play it differently.
For some years i have followed Norwegian Recycling. I love the way he mixes these tracks...
Finally, thinking of something completely different, have you discovered the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain? I had some misgivings about listening to it when my friend first showed them to me, but they are clever and entertaining - worth checking out.
"The Good the Bad and the Ugly" - watch for the vocals added at the end!
"You don't bring me flowers"... very clever arrangement!!!
They even do Nirvana - Smells like Teen Spirit!
You may have read an earlier post I did this year on this theme... but go and hear the classical yodelling and Wee Andy Lloyd Weber done as a Scottish theme.
http://fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com/2009/06/music-to-make-you-laugh-or-smile.html
Good listening everyone ;)
Music to brighten your day
Music plays an important part in our lives. One piece that always makes me feel better is by Coldplay - Viva La Vida
also worth reading...
Coldplay - Viva La Vida lyrics | LyricsMode.com
and I have always loved their "Clocks" too
What made me play it a few times today, was when Dooce blogged about it today - http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/21/roman-cavalry-choirs-are-singing and there is a video of her daughter dancing to this song.... with her Dad. I was just reminded of moments like that with my own children, and how many old songs that I hear played today conjure images of them doing things like that...
Hazy with nostalgia, I started to scan all the comments...and found people had linked some sites where there were other variations of it... and some of them are great.
Kids singing it to acoustic guitar - so wonderful to see them really enjoying the words and meaning as well as the tune!!
Another one that I was impressed with was where someone has combined his daughter's favourite piece, Love Story by Taylor Swift, and put it to cello and piano. Slower, but beautiful and haunting, as well as clever.
Love Story Meets Viva la Vida
I like it when people can combine music like that ... or play it differently.
For some years i have followed Norwegian Recycling. I love the way he mixes these tracks...
Finally, thinking of something completely different, have you discovered the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain? I had some misgivings about listening to it when my friend first showed them to me, but they are clever and entertaining - worth checking out.
"The Good the Bad and the Ugly" - watch for the vocals added at the end!
"You don't bring me flowers"... very clever arrangement!!!
They even do Nirvana - Smells like Teen Spirit!
You may have read an earlier post I did this year on this theme... but go and hear the classical yodelling and Wee Andy Lloyd Weber done as a Scottish theme.
http://fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com/2009/06/music-to-make-you-laugh-or-smile.html
Good listening everyone ;)
also worth reading...
Coldplay - Viva La Vida lyrics | LyricsMode.com
and I have always loved their "Clocks" too
What made me play it a few times today, was when Dooce blogged about it today - http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/21/roman-cavalry-choirs-are-singing and there is a video of her daughter dancing to this song.... with her Dad. I was just reminded of moments like that with my own children, and how many old songs that I hear played today conjure images of them doing things like that...
Hazy with nostalgia, I started to scan all the comments...and found people had linked some sites where there were other variations of it... and some of them are great.
Kids singing it to acoustic guitar - so wonderful to see them really enjoying the words and meaning as well as the tune!!
Another one that I was impressed with was where someone has combined his daughter's favourite piece, Love Story by Taylor Swift, and put it to cello and piano. Slower, but beautiful and haunting, as well as clever.
Love Story Meets Viva la Vida
I like it when people can combine music like that ... or play it differently.
For some years i have followed Norwegian Recycling. I love the way he mixes these tracks...
Finally, thinking of something completely different, have you discovered the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain? I had some misgivings about listening to it when my friend first showed them to me, but they are clever and entertaining - worth checking out.
"The Good the Bad and the Ugly" - watch for the vocals added at the end!
"You don't bring me flowers"... very clever arrangement!!!
They even do Nirvana - Smells like Teen Spirit!
You may have read an earlier post I did this year on this theme... but go and hear the classical yodelling and Wee Andy Lloyd Weber done as a Scottish theme.
http://fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com/2009/06/music-to-make-you-laugh-or-smile.html
Good listening everyone ;)
Friday, July 24, 2009
CATS... someone knows them very well!
Are you a cat lover?
Have you discovered Simon's cats yet?
If you haven't - I take my hat off to this guy who obviously studies his own cats very well.
The result, amusing cartoons that capture their behaviour so perfectly.
A new one has just been released.."Fly Guy".
"TV Dinner"
You can click on these links to see the other two
Cat Man Do
Let Me in
and he does dogs too...."Simon's Sisters Dog"
Enjoy :)
Have you discovered Simon's cats yet?
If you haven't - I take my hat off to this guy who obviously studies his own cats very well.
The result, amusing cartoons that capture their behaviour so perfectly.
A new one has just been released.."Fly Guy".
"TV Dinner"
You can click on these links to see the other two
Cat Man Do
Let Me in
and he does dogs too...."Simon's Sisters Dog"
Enjoy :)
CATS... someone knows them very well!
Are you a cat lover?
Have you discovered Simon's cats yet?
If you haven't - I take my hat off to this guy who obviously studies his own cats very well.
The result, amusing cartoons that capture their behaviour so perfectly.
A new one has just been released.."Fly Guy".
"TV Dinner"
You can click on these links to see the other two
Cat Man Do
Let Me in
and he does dogs too...."Simon's Sisters Dog"
Enjoy :)
Have you discovered Simon's cats yet?
If you haven't - I take my hat off to this guy who obviously studies his own cats very well.
The result, amusing cartoons that capture their behaviour so perfectly.
A new one has just been released.."Fly Guy".
"TV Dinner"
You can click on these links to see the other two
Cat Man Do
Let Me in
and he does dogs too...."Simon's Sisters Dog"
Enjoy :)
Friday, July 17, 2009
Humans...little known facts
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
:)
Humans...little known facts
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
:)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Shaky Isles of New Zealand
We had an earthquake tonight... a huge one, recorded as 7.8, with a 6.1 aftershock felt 19 minutes later, centred down south in Fiordland, but it sure made facebook hum with comments for a while! There was a tsunami warning out - but luckily this has been cancelled.
Read all about it here and here
New Zealand is often referred to as "The Shaky Isles" ... we have fault lines through the country, and have had some significant shakes over the years. As well as our earthquakes and geothermal areas, we also have active volcanoes.... and there are some great photos of Mt Ruapehu erupting in 1996 here .
I guess we are still very much a developing country!!!
Phoebe's dad sent me this video recently.... we share an affection for Irish music... more notably The Pogues, but who can resist a spot of Irish dancing, particularly when it makes Simon Cowell laugh. I expect they would have registered on the Richter scale too!
PS thinking about the cygnet yesterday, we found this today
Read all about it here and here
New Zealand is often referred to as "The Shaky Isles" ... we have fault lines through the country, and have had some significant shakes over the years. As well as our earthquakes and geothermal areas, we also have active volcanoes.... and there are some great photos of Mt Ruapehu erupting in 1996 here .
I guess we are still very much a developing country!!!
Phoebe's dad sent me this video recently.... we share an affection for Irish music... more notably The Pogues, but who can resist a spot of Irish dancing, particularly when it makes Simon Cowell laugh. I expect they would have registered on the Richter scale too!
PS thinking about the cygnet yesterday, we found this today
Here is the world's first bionic Goose. The two-week old gosling was found with a broken leg, but vets did not have the heart to put it down.Amazing... might have to investigate!!!
The Shaky Isles of New Zealand
We had an earthquake tonight... a huge one, recorded as 7.8, with a 6.1 aftershock felt 19 minutes later, centred down south in Fiordland, but it sure made facebook hum with comments for a while! There was a tsunami warning out - but luckily this has been cancelled.
Read all about it here and here
New Zealand is often referred to as "The Shaky Isles" ... we have fault lines through the country, and have had some significant shakes over the years. As well as our earthquakes and geothermal areas, we also have active volcanoes.... and there are some great photos of Mt Ruapehu erupting in 1996 here .
I guess we are still very much a developing country!!!
Phoebe's dad sent me this video recently.... we share an affection for Irish music... more notably The Pogues, but who can resist a spot of Irish dancing, particularly when it makes Simon Cowell laugh. I expect they would have registered on the Richter scale too!
PS thinking about the cygnet yesterday, we found this today
Read all about it here and here
New Zealand is often referred to as "The Shaky Isles" ... we have fault lines through the country, and have had some significant shakes over the years. As well as our earthquakes and geothermal areas, we also have active volcanoes.... and there are some great photos of Mt Ruapehu erupting in 1996 here .
I guess we are still very much a developing country!!!
Phoebe's dad sent me this video recently.... we share an affection for Irish music... more notably The Pogues, but who can resist a spot of Irish dancing, particularly when it makes Simon Cowell laugh. I expect they would have registered on the Richter scale too!
PS thinking about the cygnet yesterday, we found this today
Here is the world's first bionic Goose. The two-week old gosling was found with a broken leg, but vets did not have the heart to put it down.Amazing... might have to investigate!!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Pocket Pigs
After making so many of you cry yesterday, and thank you all for your comments, on here, in person, by email and on my facebook notes site too, I can tell it touched a nerve for a lot of people, and also made them think a little bit more about what happens across the animal world. I am pleased - I usually write when I feel moved about something... whether happy or sad, so it is only fair if it affects others as well.
To return some smiles to your faces, I will share this video with you. I have looked after many pigs in my time, albeit all of them destined for sow crates, pork or bacon (and that's a whole 'nother story on its own) but the noise from this one captured some happy memories... believe it or not!
Enjoy
To return some smiles to your faces, I will share this video with you. I have looked after many pigs in my time, albeit all of them destined for sow crates, pork or bacon (and that's a whole 'nother story on its own) but the noise from this one captured some happy memories... believe it or not!
Enjoy
Pocket Pigs
After making so many of you cry yesterday, and thank you all for your comments, on here, in person, by email and on my facebook notes site too, I can tell it touched a nerve for a lot of people, and also made them think a little bit more about what happens across the animal world. I am pleased - I usually write when I feel moved about something... whether happy or sad, so it is only fair if it affects others as well.
To return some smiles to your faces, I will share this video with you. I have looked after many pigs in my time, albeit all of them destined for sow crates, pork or bacon (and that's a whole 'nother story on its own) but the noise from this one captured some happy memories... believe it or not!
Enjoy
To return some smiles to your faces, I will share this video with you. I have looked after many pigs in my time, albeit all of them destined for sow crates, pork or bacon (and that's a whole 'nother story on its own) but the noise from this one captured some happy memories... believe it or not!
Enjoy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
