Dear Office Thief ...
You are a slimy piece of pooh and when you are caught, I hope you end up homeless and on welfare. I believe in karma, so even if you aren't caught & fired over your sticky fingers, I believe that will happen to you one day anyway. I just hope you don't have kids that will end up starving when your stupid-ass goes down. Though I don't know yet if you are an office cleaner, an employee, or a security guard ...something will be said about the missing items in the office today! It was bad enough to walk off with our fruit, a pair of cheap sunglasses, a kitchen bowl.. Not to mention soil from someone's plant (I am serious boys and girls ... a lady in our office accused someone on this floor of stealing soil from her plant).... but now money out of my desk?! Come on you poor crack-head little fucker. I hope you feel good about stealing from a single mom you piece of shit. Sure, I wasn't relying on that money to feed my fat arse .... but I was saving it for this seasons Survivor pool. And for your information, I won that money fair and square in the last Survivor pool. Maybe you were a Survivor pool loser and jealous that I won? I don't know what your deal is, but you suck. Whether or not it was smart to leave $60 in my desk drawer is irrelevant .. it was MY $60 and MY desk. Happy Friday you chunk of cow manure .... oh, and thanks for not taking the entire $60 .. leaving me $10 was very thoughtful. Enjoy my money you ass muncher.
Signed,
One pissed off joint venture analyst who won’t starve over $50 but sure wants to see you starve over $50!
I was having a great day up until 7:45am when I opened my desk drawer to dig into my Survivor pool winnings to pay Survivor Man for this pool and realized where there was once $60 .. there was now $10. I know, I know I shouldn't have left that much money in my drawer ... but it was "hidden" and I really thought it would be ok in there. Really. I think I kinda know how an old IT buddy felt when he came to work one Monday and realized money was gone from his desk, his snacks were eaten but wrappers & crumbs left all over his work station, and his chair had been sat in while the security guard enjoyed many o hours of late night porn on his computer .... yucky icky. To read more letters, or to add your own, head over to Foursons blog and link up.
