After my grandma’s birthday party and my weirdest gift of all time posts, I am as curious as the Night Fury that I saw in the How to Train Your Dragon movie last week. Therefore, after doing some Internet researches, I listed out the top 10 weirdest gifts I ever saw. This is way weirder than my super cute Genghis Khan’s poop. Continue reading for more!
1. Nothing
Wondering what is the best gift to give to your friends? Especially when he or she can have anything and everything in the world (I hate when it’s time to figure out what to give to my rich friends)? Then, a simple gift like a gift of Nothing is sufficient! I just can’t stop laughing reading the descriptions in the ads:
Indeed even old Macbeth, though mad as a kipper, realised that life, whilst full of sound and fury (and that was before iPods) is inherently daft and ultimately signifies Nothing. And let us not forget, that 'Nothing' is so important that most of our universe - and the contents of a lot of people's heads - appears to be made up of it. It's a statement, an empty gesture if you will, a nod at the futility of ownership, and yet despite 'Nothing' being nothing, it is of course packed with millions of protons, neutrons and what have you, which is pretty good for Nothing.
Wow. Macbeth and iPods are mentioned in the same line! How thing has changed!
2. Pickle Bandages
If you’re an avid worshiper of Pickles like Snooki from the Jersey Whores Shore, then this gift is perfect for you!
3. Sharp-end Cat Pencil Sharpener
“Simply stick your pencil into the cats behind, push and hear it meow!” Ouch! Oh and it includes a litter tray to catch all the shavings. How considered!
4. Sperm Bank
Okay, I had to admit that I don’t mind receiving this Sperm Bank as a gift. It’s made of ceramic and looks kinda cute. However, I don’t think the coins will fit throughout its tail.
5. Butt/Face Soap
Studies show that 93% of people begin their showers by soaping the lower regions and working upwards. That means that 9 out of 10 people rub something against their face that, only moments earlier, was gliding and probing where the sun don't shine. So now you know... The scents are added so you won't realize you're washing your face with tush-tainted soap.
Based on this statistic, I just want to say; Thank God for the invention of liquid soap!
6. Undercap
If your friends have a bold fashion statement, you can give this Undercap as a present. Instead of wearing the normal hats or snow hats, they can wear this super cool cap. Although you can also just give them your white underwear and say it’s the Undercap. Multipurpose gift? How one can resist?
7. Fake Tattoo Sleeves
I saw this sleeves first in The Big Bank Theory, an awesome TV Series by the way. A couple of hard core nerds are trying to tackle emo/gothic girls in the bar wearing that sleeves. Then, a few weeks later, I saw one boy actually wore this Fake Tattoo Sleeves in a shopping complex in Kuala Lumpur. Darn. I am sure before long it will become a trend. It definitely will look hideous on a skinny body.
8. Dick Towel
This sure is fun gift for your male friends (I’m not sure if there is a version for female). Are you prefers to wear a significant shrinkage Dick Towel or do you prefer to wear a drop to the floor-penis-look? Either way, your butt will definitely be hanging in the breeze!
9. P-Mate Singles Female Disposable Urine Director
Gender equality is one of the most respectable achievements that human kind had achieved. For your ladies friends who’re strong upholding the same values, you can give them this P-Mate Singles Female Director. Oh and it’s disposable. You basically just need a water proof cardboard, fold it into a cone shape and let the water flow freely inside the cone. Yet another amazing achievement has taken place.
10. Real Squirrel Feet Earring or Necklace
I think this should not be categorized as “weird”, fallen more into the “scary” or “exotic” gift categories. And even scarier, the Real Squirrel Feet Earring or Necklace were already sold out! Are you really willing to wear its earring or necklace? If someone bought this for me, I will frame it and put it in my living room.
There you go, my Top Ten Even Weirdest Gifts of All. Even my Genghis Khan's poop looks tame now. I will not responsible for any possible friendship disruption due to any of these gifts. I hope you enjoy it. Do leave me a comment or two! See ya in the next post!
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