Housewife

Ryan makes a beautiful zombie in this very The Smiths one-off single.

The Cribs at Irving Plaza

Welcome back, brothers. You had great energy. The crowd consisted of very young boys and girls who knew all the words. The set list did not change, nor did Ryan's outfit from the last time I saw you. But tried and true works, and the Cribs work very hard to be one of the best bands in the entire world and my favorite of the moment to see live.

I won't say much more than that because I'd be repeating myself from all my previous reviews, but when Ryan Jarman stage dives and unleashes 175 lbs of unadulterated Jahhhman body mass flying at 50 mph over your head, well, that's rock and roll. That's poetry.

my favorite albums of 2000's

This list doesn't mean anything except that I loved these albums because they integrated themselves into my life like living beings, and sometimes they acted as stronger friends to me than my actual friends in the way they listened to the silent yearning and raging of my heart and body, like we were connected by some invisible magnetic thread, and the way they spoke to me and for me when I had no power to use my own voice to sing. It's been a really hectic 10 years! So fuck Pitchfork and Rolling Stone and Spin and Fader and NME. These ten albums mattered most to me.*

*Honorable mentions: The Libertines: The Libertines, Myths of the Near Future: Klaxons, Oracular Spectacular: MGMT, Fever to Tell: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Amnesiac: Radiohead, The Marshall Mathers LP: Eminem and anything else recorded by the 10 acts below.

10. Back to Black, Amy Winehouse, 2006

I'm surprised too. But the more time I spend with this album the more I feel like Amy Winehouse knows what she's talking about, even a little bit more than Pete Doherty and The Libertines who she kicked out of my top 10. A song like "Love is a Losing Game" perfectly describes the futility in trying to find a trustworthy and permanent partner. "Five story fire as you came/Love is a losing game" means you can find yourself floored by a man and want to start new with him and give it your all (like, know, meeting the love of your life in a frat house basement) but ultimately you will wind up alone and heartbroken again (4 years later). "Back to Black" is a beautiful, bittersweet reminder to watch your own back in the dirty dealings of love and sex because everyone's out for himself in this world. You should be too.

9. We All Belong, Dr. Dog, 2007/Takers and Leavers EP, Dr. Dog, 2006

Dr. Dog opened for The Raconteurs on tour in 2006, and I kinda fell in love with them due solely to the fact that Toby Leaman looks like a short hipster version of my favorite professor and the gut-wrenching, Bob Dylan-leaning Beatness of "Die Die Die," quite possibly one of the best songs ever written.

8. '07, The Virgins, 2007/Self-Taught Learner, Lissie Trullie, 2009

I highly prefer The Virgins' EP to their full-length debut because Donald Cumming's the kind of boy who deserves to keep it simple and dirty. He does better with his sinus infection vocals and rough, homemade 8-track production. (He does best naked in photos by Ryan McGinley or on stage in telephone-patterned red skintight leggings.) Songs like "Fernando Pando" and "Radio Christiane" made me feel at home in a big city like New York, and seeing the Virgins as much as possible from NYE 07 to the present has helped me to love this place more than any other. Not to mention, Donald's kinda my dream man, after Julian Casablancas, of course.

I put Lissy Trullie into the same position because she's friends with the band, and I found her thru loving The Virgins. In reverse, though, I like her full-length better than her demos because she collabs with everyone's favorite crack addict Adam Green on a poignant cover of "Just a Friend" and she includes the song that got me into her, "You Bleed You." Also "Don't to Do" was pretty much my anthem during my break-up over this past summer, and I love love love Lissy's man fashion-influenced style.

7. Little Joy, Little Joy, 2008

Fabulous Moretti doesn't let us down with his "solo"-ish debut with Rodrigo Amarante and gf Binki Shapiro. Songs like "With Strangers" and "Play the Part," with their quiet acceptance of failure and sadness, made me feel okay this summer when I ate anxiety for breakfast and swallowed disappointment like anti-depressants (in lieu of health insurance and its over-medicating benefits.) "Unattainable" sung by Binki with her innocent, assured voice makes me want to love a man that deserves it. Out of all the Strokes' solo/side efforts, Fab and Little Joy take the cake.

6. Album, Girls, 2009

I can't help it; I'm obsessed. I listen to this one non-stop because it's so damn good. Christopher Owens could come into my apartment and stay for 56 weeks without paying rent, or I would cook casseroles for him and leave them outside in a dog house beside baggies of weed that I personally bought (shock!) and sew him a delux set of sheets and pillows so he could sleep all day long. Or he could curl up in my bed in a ratty thrift-store sweater knitted circa 1972 and sing with his Elvis Costello croon into my ear all night. I don't do drugs, but I'd drop a Valium or 2 with him and let him cry over my naked body all night long. Some people say sex is the motivation behind all creative endeavors, and I kind believe it because Owens and his band mate JR White made this awesome awesome awesome sunshine-in-hell breakup album on pills of all kinds, and you know a breakup hangover is really just the sick realization that you'll never get to fuck that girl (or boy) again. This album makes me happy that I'm sad and sad that I'm happy in spite of myself. It's like the record that spins me round, round, baby, right round, like a record baby round, right round, round, which must explain why this sucker's been on repeat since I bought it.

5. Friends of Mine, Adam Green, 2003

I've sung his praises on this blog before. The guy's the sad song writing maestro, and with his unpredictable antics he puts on one of the most entertaining and ridiculous live shows. Adam Green, I bow to you. Your drug-addled craziness belies your musical seriousness and talent. But if you can write a song like "Bungee" that has become an actual component of my soul I will follow you down whatever roads your music takes you for the rest of my life.

4. The New Fellas, The Cribs, 2005

The Cribs came to me by accident; I'm pretty sure I found them while cyber-stalking Misshapes protege Jackson Pollis, aka Kids Meal while I was living in Tremont. I fell in love with their bad vocals (especially Ryan Jarman's) and lo-fi-ish production. "I'm Alright Me" became my nihilistic anthem and made me feel okay when I over-imbibed and over-caffeinated and didn't care and didn't sleep. Seeing the Cribs for the first time made me fall in love for life, and with each album they've grown consistently, showing that hard work pays off and bad teeth and bad hair and bad fashion in general make for the output of some damn fine songs about living young and fast in a tour van.

3. Favourite Worst Nightmare, Arctic Monkeys, 2007

They might be young and they might have been hyped up the wazoo in 2006, but Alex Turner can write inner anger better than anyone I've yet to find (except for Kurt Cobain.) His relentless use of Matt Helders' immaculate and powerful drumming over atmospheric guitars and 1950's obscure rock song loops make music so haunting and potent and dangerous that you just want to stab yourself in the face. I hold anger in my body for years, and it takes me a long time to get over anything, so to have this album confirm the rightness of such an unhealthy and wrong harboring of negativity makes me feel like it's a little bit okay, or at least like I'm in good, hot company. "Do Me a Favour" and "505" make me die a little bit every time, and when I finally make my movie (you know, a neo-New Wave crazy train semi-autobiographical coming of age flick featuring a blonde with a chic haircut and black-lined blue eyes) the music from this album will pretty much take over the entire soundtrack.

2. White Blood Cells, The White Stripes, 2001

Jack White's a force of fucking nature, and I could listen to this album for the rest of my life. "The Union Forever" starts with a flippant, fuck-you guitar riff and says, "It can't be love, for there is no true love." How true, Jackie, how true. The song then devolves into a grunge-tastic, bitter, slightly out-of-control reinterpretation of Citizen Kane... Egomaniacs must love each other, I guess, and Orson Welles and Jack White will surely meet each other in Hell or wherever geniuses go when they die.

1. Room on Fire, The Strokes, 2003

Duh! What did you expect? Oh, yeah. Is This It? Like every other countdown on the planet. Well I'm no first album lover. I like sophomore efforts, and while Is This It? changed my life and personality and goals and dreams (I stopped worshipping fuck face Billy Corgan's melodrama and traded it in for sleek, magnetic structure; I let my neurotic nature and demands fly; I decided I would one day move to New York City and make out with drunken bed-headed dirty boys; I would see the Strokes LIVE ONE DAY) Room on Fire solidified all that. When Julian Casablancas wrote "12:51" he wrote the perfect pop song. When he wrote "Under Control" he wrote the song of my life. When he wrote "I Can't Win" he wrote about the failings every artist faces at the hands of his own worst enemy: himself. Some people say that they like all music and all songs and all things, but I'm the kind of girl who loves ALWAYS one of whatever it is the best, and Room on Fire is not only my favorite album of The Aughts, it's also my desert island album, one of my best friends, and pretty much the only thing that can make me close my eyes and sob for sheer amazement and gratitude when I'm not absolutely wasted. So thank you, Jules and Co. for this little gem. You've made my decade and life worth living, and that's a cliche and an overstatement (classic Brittany hyperbole) but it's also very true (classic Brittany doesn't lie.)

i look for cigarette butts you threw away

When Ryan kicks in his vocals on "To Jackson," I could die. (And I love how the person video-recording knows when to move the camera. Key.) This song is how I feel about everything right now.

In happier other news, Joseph Gordon-Levitt did NOT disappoint with his SNL performance. Dude's awesome, and he does back flips.

And I'm still Team Edward. NEW MOON ROCKED (it was a little long, yeah) BUT YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT!

And anyone who jumped ship to Team Abs, well more power to you. Leaves more of R-Patz for the rest of us! Baby, baby.

The Cribs at Bowery Ballroom #2

The second night at Bowery Ballroom for the Cribs didn't disappoint. They played "What About Me" from The Cribs and "We Can No Longer Cheat You" from The New Fellas. Energy was high, and they really loved the crowd. Ryan motioned multiple times for people to come up front and onto the stage.

Two notes I want to make about the crowd this time. 1. To the guy with the camera who told me to say "excuse me:" you really think I could control which way my body moved in the pit? I was just trying to hold onto my purse and not get knocked over. So, yes, I am sorry I got in your way, but I stick by my original comment. This is a concert, honey.

2. To the fat bastard who wormed his way thru the crowd toward the end only to stand next to me and get his disgusting Mexican food B.O. sweat all over my jacket. You, sir, are a joke. You do not need to body slam girls who are 1/4 your size when you weigh 400 lbs. And when you almost came in your pants when Ross tossed his sticks and nearly pushed me to the ground, all I can say is, you are lucky you didn't. Because you do NOT forget that other people have skulls when you go to concerts. You do NOT knock someone's glasses off her face so you can grab a piece of wood that a drummer held in his hand for 1.5 hours. And you especially do not act like a wild jungle beast when you weigh said 400 lbs. Because it's gross, and it's annoying, and it's just rude. You're lucky you didn't damage my face or my stuff because I really would have punched you.

Ugh. Sorry for the negative energy, but I can honestly say that that was one of the worst crowds ever last night. The 1st night was so much better!!!!!!!

But concert-wise, the Cribs went all out both nights, and I'm glad I had tix for los dos because who knows when I will see them again. Love you guys! Keep up the hard, good work.

The Cribs at Bowery Ballroom #1

The Cribs came back to Bowery Ballroom tonight, and the show kicked ass as usual. Ryan had on some seriously disintegrating pants and striped leggings underneath. He wore the same shirt he wore 18 months ago at MHOW. His guitar was adorned with a sticker of Kate Nash's face (what a lucky lady) and he wore a heart necklace with the word "Love" and his earring in his newly-pieced ear. Gary looked divine as well, and he sported his recently acquired wedding ring. Johnny Marr was amazing, and Ross was too, DUH!

The crowd got pretty rowdy, but I didn't care. I expected to be knocked around and was ready for the onslaught. I'm pretty glad I'm 5'6" and have sturdy nalgas because I was able to hold my own and managed to have fun with some boys in the front. Great times, great crowd. I hope it's the same tomorrow evening.

Song highlights definitely include "Direction," set closer and best new track "City of Bugs" and "Mirror Kissers." The latter song always induces a spiritual experience in me, and I will jump as high as I can in the pit and scream as long as my lungs allow. I love the Cribs so much for making me feel alive and loving every minute of it.

Another cool moment was when they played "Be Safe" they projected a huge video of Lee Ranaldo doing his spoken word bit. I couldn't get any pics of it, but it was almost as cool as having him there to do his part live (like last time.)

I exited the show after the 1.5 hour set almost deaf, but it was totally worth it.

You gotta love those Jahhhmans. See you tomorrow night, boys.

I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW RYAN JAHHHMAN

Bowery Ballroom. 8 PM. The Cribs. The Von Bondies. Get in me!

brittish 7/10/09

In this week of great new (free!) music, I have another tip for you: Ida Maria recently did a Daytrotter session that kicks major ass. So go ahead and d/load it, and while you're at it, check out the latest Zane Lowe show to hear Ryan (chilling with his rabbit) introduce "Cheat On Me," the 1st single from the Cribs' forthcoming album Ignore the Ignorant, and to listen to Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner talk to Zane about the new album Humbug and recording in the desert.

If you're in NYC and need something to do on this fine summer evening, check out Adam Sullivan at Googie's (above The Living Room @ 154 Ludlow) for FREE tonight. Show starts at 7:30 and Adam goes on at 8:30. This is Adam's last show before he embarks on his US tour tomorrow.

brittish list for this week:

1. With Strangers- Little Joy

2. Evaporar- Little Joy

3. We Were Aborted- The Cribs

4. I Wanna Die- Adam Green

5. I'll Try Anything Once (You Only Live Once)- The Strokes

6. Short Fuse- Black Lips

7. Ghost In You- Counting Crows

8. The Breeze- Dr. Dog

9. Oh My God (Daytrotter Session)- Ida Maria

10. Near You Always- Jewel

11. Teeth (Daytrotter Session)- Bowerbirds

12. Everybody's Always Alone (Daytrotter Session)- Ida Maria

And the official song of the week is CRYING LIGHTNING by Arctic Monkeys.

Photo from here.

make love to me, ryan jarman

http://www.nme.com/photos/27-things-you-never-knew-about-the-cribs/131406/2/1

I adore The Cribs, most of all crazoid Ryan Jarman. Click above for a new feature from NME on the 27 things you never knew about the brothers Jahhhman.

And go to http://thecribs.com to d/load a free new track "We Were Aborted" from the forthcoming album Ignore the Ignorant.

Love it!

Ignore the Ignorant

THE CRIBS will return with their 4th studio album on September 7 (UK date). The album is titled Ignore the Ignorant, and the first single is called  "Cheat on Me."

Click here to watch Ryan talk about a fan who wants to get a tattoo of his face. "I'm into the band being a cult, ya know what i mean?" I am dying for his orange cardigan: adorable.

TRACKLIST for IGNORE THE IGNORANT

We Were Aborted

Cheat On Me

We Share The Same Skies

The City Of Bugs

Hari Kari

Last Year's Snow

Emasculate Me

Ignore The Ignorant

Save Your Secrets

Nothing

Victim Of Mass Production

Stick To Yr Guns

For more info, visit nme.com

image from the Cribs' myspace.

failin can be quite a breeze

Just logged into Myspace to check out tour dates, and I find this piece of candy in my inbox. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. These things always happen on the wrong continent.


Date: May 28, 2009 12:12 PM
Subject: Adam Green is touring in the UK this fall w/ The Cribs!
Body:
Check out Adam's fall tour dates in the UK with the cribs!!Adam is so stoked to be touring again!! See you at his shows!!9.25.09 Cambridge Junction w/ The Cribs9.26.09 Oxford Academy w/ The Cribs9.28.09 Norwich UEA w/ The Cribs9.29.09 Glasgow Barrowland w/ The Cribs9.30.09 Newcastle University w/ The Cribs10.02.09 Manchester Apollo w/ The Cribs10.03.09 Liverpool University w/ The Cribs10.04.09 Cardiff University w/ The Cribs10.06.09 Exeter University w/ The Cribs10.07.09 Southhampton Guildhall w/ The Cribs10.08.09 Leamington Spa Assembly w/ The Cribs10.10.09 Leeds Academy w/ The Cribs10.15.09 London Forum w/ The Cribs

xxx

team ag





In other news (and this is mostly for John)



"---- - Luke Rathborne is 21 YEARS OLD. He moved to New York from the deep woods & shallow waters of Brunswick, Maine in August, 2006, staying on his brother's couch deep inside the upper burroughs, before moving into the darkness of the Charlie Pineapple Theater Company on North 8th, an abandoned theater loft in Brooklyn - he's since left for higher ground and has been living in and around Brooklyn ever since."

Check out his myspace.

cut your losses, shoot the poets

"Shoot the Poets" by the Cribs. Bad visual quality, who cares?

you can't regret something that you'll forget

Wheeeee, watch this video of my favorite Ryan Jahhhman getting his ear pierced by Johnny Marr.

Like a pro!

say it ain't so

Conflicting reports.

MTV UK (and Perez Hilton, btw...) reports that beloved Ryan Jahhhman will marry Kate Nash in Portland, OR this weekend.

Hmmmm, Portland, you say? Isn't that where twin brother Gary Jarman lives with his gf?

Becuase they pay attn to details like these, NME claims it's Gary who'll take himself out of the pool of single fish we rock and roll girls dream of swimming in.

In the end, which Jahman bites the dust? Only time will tell.

what we made, it was our own

The Cribs (aka the bastards who cancelled their Fall US tour) posted new pics on their myspace.
Here's one of Ryan. xoxo Can't stay mad at them too long.
Perez Hilton posted a new pic of Mary-Kate with Nate Lowman at the Ben Cho show @ Fashion Week.I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Home boy is the sex! He kinda looks Tarantino-ed out (not a bad thing) but in real life he has all the downtown dirty charm you'll ever need.

speak to me in a language i can hear

Congrats to Fed for today's match, a 5-setter, which he seemed to really enjoy. I love it when he screams on the court. So rare. HERE WE GO TO THE FINALS, BABY! It's Suisse time. Go to USOPEN.ORG for all the updates you need.

Today we installed the next show at my gallery. Kevin Cooley has put together a really beautiful show of video and photography. Opens on Thursday from 6-8. Hope to see you there with a warm Heineken in hand! (Sorry, ice melts people, so if you want it cold, stop being a lazy hipster and get there early.) Check it out! http://www.kevincooleyphotography.com/

HMM in culture news, I just inhaled Dear Diary by Lesley Arfin. SO typical, I know. How many Go Ask Alices can I read in one life? But in my defense I had no idea this was a descent-into-drugs narrative. I thought it was merely a coming-of-age (ooooooh my favorites!) tale. But either way... I read it really fast and thought about it a lot. I think I liked it.

A word on Gossip Girl: welcome back, Chuck, you "motherchucker Bass-tard." Your wardrobe planners hit it out of the PARK and I'm promoting you to #1. Adios, boring Dan.

Also if you want to die happy, go read supmag.com and especially die a death of love and laughter for The Virgins interview... then come back to life and hyperventilate over the Jarmans because Ross is super cutie, Gary's enough to shoot you dead with his killer eyes, and Ryan is Ryan is Ryan, gotta love those British teeth!

image from http://supmag.com

K, TIME TO GO LISTEN TO "THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT" FOR THE 78TH TIME THIS WEEK! Prob one of the best "I never wanna grow up" songs ever written. That, and "1979." CORGAN 4EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i think you must have known i'd make you sorry

Tonight's Dr. Dog show has been postponed for August 26 because Toby's not allowed to sing... bummer, dude.

BUT FOR EVERY PIECE OF BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS LINGERS ON THE HORIZON, OR YOU READ IT ON THE INTERNET AT WORK AND WANT TO FLIP SHIT BUT CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE "PROFESSIONAL." SO YOU WRITE IT ON YOUR BLOG IN ALL CAPS TO CONVEY HOW EXCITED YOU ARE AND THAT YOUR HEART MAY JUST BURST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Cribs are coming to Irving Plaza September 5! jahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhman i love you!!!

i don't think that we're bad, don't think we're bad at all

So I finally decided to start a real blog.

That being said, last night I saw Albert Hammond Jr. at Virgin in U.Square. Not sure of the setlist since I don't have the new album memorized yet, but he played In My Room, GfC, Everyone Gets a Star, Rocket, Victory At Monterey (which is awesome) G Up, and I think a few more.

After the show, Albert, Matt Romano, Marc Philippe Eskenazi, and the two touring musicians (sorry, don't know their names) talked to fans and signed albums.

Matt Romano gave himself a Cindy Crawfordesque beauty mark, ooh la la.

Needless to say, it was a pretty great short concert, and I got to meet another member of The Strokes.

Today I realized that it's almost a year to the day that the Cribs released Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever. Anyone who knows me knows I played that record out in the best way possible last summer, and for me that album will always have the nostalgic honor of being the one I listened to while I learned how to navigate the MTA. So for old time's sake, here's a photo Scott took of Ryan Jarman from last summer's show.

So I started thinking about this summer's album, and hand's down, it's the debut album by The Virgins. I've been conflicted since seeing them live this NYE at the Mercury Lounge, the conflict being that their EP The Virgins-07 sounded a hell of a lot better than their live act. However, they have two things on their side:

1. A Strokes-lite sound mixed with the Rolling Stones circa "Emotional Rescue" and a little Elvis Costello thrown in the mix. And while I am the first to resent bands that get early buzz with all media outlets comparing lead singers' lazy drawls to that of Julian Casablancas (I foolishly boycotted Arctic Monkeys for a while because of this), here the comparison is mildly admissable but a little misleading.

and 2. Donald Cumming is a lead singer as sublime as Mick Jagger. He's got just the right amount of ugly like Ryan Jahhhman, and he's as bored on stage as J-Fats circa the Room on Fire tour. A google search of "Donald Cumming" yields more results than Rebecca and I walking out of American Apparel. The guy has been Ryan McGinley's muse (which is enough of a kicker on its own), a film star (Bugcrush), a cinematographer (Billy the Kid), a model (see DNA Models), and just generally intriguing. Plus from all accounts found thru google (gotta love it) he's serious about making music. Donald has time to work on it, and thanks to his passion and fucked up teeth (a vice of mine since Billy Corgan) I can let his skills from 7 months ago slide.

(image from http://nylonmag.com/summertour)

So check out The Virgins if you get a chance. The album is addicting, especially the closer "Love Is Colder Than Death," which accompanies me on my commute to Chelsea on repeat.